Feminist: Not with a Capital F but capital FEMINIST

Last night I lost my first friend due to being a FEMINIST, and yet i feel no remorse or saddnes or the littlest bit of disdain. Since my return from the Young Women Botswana Feminism Leadership Course I am terribly intolerant of any form of misogyny, sexism, racism or even homophobia in my personal space. Something I find extremely funny because on the second last day I told a girl she would lose friends now as a self proclaimed feminist. I told her her world had changed. I was so unawares that despite identifying as a feminist since the first time the word was spat at me this course had changed me. I thought I had long ago reached the peak of being a feminist. That I was at the highest level of understanding. That I understood what needed to be done but I had no idea that this course would make me face patriarchy without fear. I did not even know I had ever been afraid till last night.

When I applied to the Young Women Botswana Feminism Leadership Course I was confident I would get in, I immediately began making arrangements to make sure that the 9 day program in Francistown would not inconvenience my school work or projects. I was excited because I thought the course would prepare me to lead my team. But it changed so much. Firstly I felt a bit proud to find out I had been accepted out of over 90 nation wide applications, I felt both honored and a bit intimidated when I found out that the 25 or so other participants had real cvs while I was going on "I am a feminist cause I was born this way" vibes. 

The one thing I hated about the trip from the moment I applied till the moment I arrived back home was that I would be leaving my family, my free wi-fi, my airconditioned home, and most importantly my personal space for a whole 11 days. It was terrible for me to have to have a roommate. The sad part is my roommate is actually such an amazingly nice person to live with, unfortunately I am not. I've always had my own room so to fall asleep with someone else in the room was difficult for me, so I spent a lot of late nights in the garden. To write poetry or work while someone is in the room also extremely difficult so I got no writing done in 11 days. I also got sick at one point and having to buy medication I had at home was just terrible. Also I got fucken bit by bed bugs in case you wanna stay at Tati River Lodge. But the staff took care of me when I was sick so my scars and I forgive them.

activities

mentally emotionally and physicalle exhausted

But francistown was an amazing experience. The 9 day course was extensive and intensive. We covered entire modules in one day, with multiple activities and large content. On some days I wanted to nap more than anything but it didn't happen. It was like nap rehab. But they weren't just extensive academically, they were emotionally exhausting modules and on one particular day I found myself calling my best friend crying while wishing his white t shirts were available to ruin with my mascara. In fact by the fourth day he could hear I wanted to come home. 

But I didn't really, there was too much knowledge to consume, too many brains to pick, too many women to love and lil zero and I did love them. I felt like this was a place i belonged, not francistown, not that hotel, not with those women but within the African feminist movement. I got to learn from some of Africa's greatest feminist contributors. I mean I met Doo Aphane (Google Her) who is probably King Mswati's least favorite woman, Maude Dikobe (Google Her) a lover of African diaspora and african literature who gave me receipts to pre colonial references of feminists. I also met Isabella aka Bella (Google Her) who produces at least 80% of all the food she eats a goal I have. I also met Elsie Alexander (Google Her) who is actually my best friend Brett Pearmain's grand aunt and a woman in politics. Got fascilitated by Alice Kanengoni (Google Her) who innitiated the gender department in OSISA. Irene Ramatala (Google Her) an activist for arts and culture in botswana who also recognized me as the daughter of Alla Moyo and put my mother on the movement in Botswana wall as one of the feminists who have made a difference. 

A few of the fascilitators were also age mates if I could say... they included Lorato Mpelega, Portia Loeto and Lillian Moremi who I had already met in Young Women Rising as well as Mandipa Machacha who I might possibly wanna be when I grow up. Her or Doo I think. It's impossible to ever be able to put this entire trip and the effect it has had on my life into words. The only thing I guess is for me to show you. It's a monday today but this should have been last week's #feministfriday post so here you go...

Also because she might kill me if she doesn't get props. Thank you to the beautiful Analyn for continuing to bother me about putting this up. You can totally be my woman crush this Wednesday.

Also another thank you to both TAWLA and OSISA for giving me the opportunity to meet the beautiful sisters I shared my space with in Francistown. You are all such amazing women in your own right. 

Signing out, 

FEMINIST also known as Tshepo Jamillah Moyo. 

A poet, writer, and Super Hero. 

A sister in the Movement.

XOXO

Me and Gender rights pioneer swaziland's Doo Aphane

Young Woman Rising

Hi guys... It's silly to apologise everytime I go missing but here I am again. If you haven't liked our Facebook page... search 1Third of A Woman and press like to get all the interesting stuff young women should read. Now this is to update you on what a young pretty feminist like myself has been up to.

A few months ago I was as usual trolling the internet trying to find someone to make fun of or something to be mad about when I stumbled across a call for participants for a workshop by Young Women Rising. Of course I applied. And unexpectedly I was selected to join a group of other girls. They're so many. I now call myself a young Riser.

Young Women Rising is the baby of Portia Loeto a gender studies lecturer at the University of Botswana. Upon our first convening she expresses how slowly she is nurturing it and why Young Women Rising is important to her. "It's about creating spaces where young women can discuss and take action against the things that bother them." was a phrase that came up often in her description of the initiative.

The group has met twice so far and I fall more and more in love with the young women I've met through these workshops. Upon our first convening we discussed when we realised we were girls and what being a girl meant to us. It was interesting for me to listen to other ladies share their experiences. Considering that I've grown up in the home of a feminist I never really had gender stereotypical roles in my house.

Some of the girls shared growing up with single parents, some with male siblings, some even with their grandparents. It made me wonder how different my childhood might have been if I had had a brother. Would my father still consider me his best friend?

Some of the girls shared their hardships growing up, everything from step parents to orphanhood, to not always having the best. I actually almost felt guilty for my middle class privilege. One is a rape survivor with the most vibrant smile and laugh. She looks like she floats on candy floss clouds and tastes like blueberry cheesecake ice cream. Her happiness is so infectious I want to take her home and cuddle her on the days when my soul is grey.

A mathematician or as she says "geek" who is tired of being bullied in her male dominated field. A set of twins who are "the going" as they'd say. Comrades. Almost nearly as amazingly interested in politics as my first year classmates in POL 101. I wish I still cared about it nearly as much. But I honestly only care about amazing (black) women.

The group is large. I could talk about them all day. I mean we've even got two mother's on the team and they both have sons which makes me really fucken happy. for lack of a nicer word. Because their sons have no choice but to be amazing cause I mean dope moms. There's also two young ladies who really care about their GPAs but have time for everything else while I personally am still trying to find where it is one sees their GPA. (sorry mom)

Oh Gosh.. they're so many. All so amazing in their own way. All with such different opinions, different paths, different ambitions but so inspirational. They make me feel less alone. Maybe that's not something particularly amazing to write about. But I wish you could meet them. You'd love them almost nearly as much as I do.

“Madam Speaker, Sir” beyond the Politics

Authored by Speaker of Parliament Margret N. Nasha, “Madam Speaker Sir” has without a doubt ruffled a few feathers in the past weeks since its release. In this memoir MmaNasha as we’ve fondly come to know her shares with us the achievements and disappointments in her somewhat extraordinary life. While the book is no literary marvel in the sense of its basic writing, MmaNasha’s honesty makes it a good enough read.

In this Memoir the iconic woman leaves no stone unturned. She freely discusses her childhood, that of her children and even her ex-husbands adultery and her criminal dealing with it. It’s hard to imagine the respectable Speaker of Parliament throwing a pile of bricks at someone’s house but still quite humorous.

However, her chapters on her family (including the other woman) show a side to MmaNasha that young girls in our country need to see, that even she is a woman. It puts her within reach, makes her relatable giving inspiration to young women that beyond their dirty laundry, cheating boyfriends, controlling men and beautiful children is something that belongs solely to them.

It is un-debatable that Madam Speaker, Sir was a necessary book in our society today. Not only in reminding young women that she is amongst those who broke the barriers that we are allowing to be reintroduced in our lives, but also in reminding us that Botswana is a democracy. That, within that democracy is the freedom of speech.

While MmaNasha now faces criticism for openly discussing the politics of the ruling party, President Seretse Khama Ian Khama’s leadership style, and secret missions she participated in during her years long servitude as a Minister one cannot dispute that she has reminded the country of freedom of speech. In this book she discusses the compliance of BDP members in advising the president, confirms the existence of fractions in the party which has been whispers in the society. Although she does expose the deceiving and destructive nature of these fractions, there is nothing to be shocked about.

MmaNasha has shown herself to be a revolutionary, releasing a book that could quite possibly end her political career on such an important year. What this book does tell us about her is that she is here for the people and above all for herself. Madam Speaker, Sir is a book that was owed to each and every Motswana, regardless of political affiliation, age and gender, and quite frankly it would be impossible to forgive MmaNasha if she had never published it.

Here is a link to an interview Dr. Nasha did with Echoe newspaper where she discusses Women and how we need to stop being apologetic for our ambition. P.S she has amazing nails too. :)

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... by Maya Angelou

My mom sent me this in my teen years. Truth told with Maya having passed away I thought I'd share it. Dr. Angelou was a phenomenal woman and quite frankly her life speaks for her. 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a youth she’s content to leave behind….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will
make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a feeling of control over her destiny…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to quit a job, break up with a lover and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but it’s over…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW….
how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…be it to her best friend’s kitchen table or a charming Inn in the woods
when her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
What she can and can’t accomplish in a day, a month…and a year…

Best Ayiorwoth (22), founder of GIPOMO, Uganda

"When Best Ayiorwoth lost her parents at a young age, she had to cut short her high school education because her older siblings struggled to pay her tuition in the Nebbi District in northernUganda.

Having always wanted to take her education further, this was a massive disappointment and inspired her to start an award-winning microcredit business at the age of 19, that would go on to help hundreds of women and young girls in Uganda.

Ayiorwoth realised that if she could empower mothers financially, they would support the education of their children, particularly young girls. “I have seen that when families can’t maintain all their children at school and have to make a choice, they would often choose a boy over a girl,” she told How we made it in Africa.

At 17 she moved to Kampala and joined S7 Project, a skills empowerment centre, where she started to form her business idea for Girls Power Micro-Lending Organisation (GIPOMO). Using her savings earned while working in a restaurant, Ayiorwoth returned to her home community in early 2011 and started giving monthly micro loans to women with small businesses, on the condition that they kept their children, especially young girls, in school.

GIPOMO has helped 64 women start their own businesses, 111 women expand their existing businesses and kept 168 girls in school by supporting their mothers. Last year Ayiorwoth won USh. 1m (US$400) at the FINA Africa Enterprise Business Challenge and first place and $25,000 at the Anzisha Prize.

Ayiorwoth credits much of GIPOMO’s success to the good mentor she had at S7 Project and advises other young entrepreneurs to look for mentors.

She also believes her success comes from using the challenges she has faced as inspiration to make a difference in both her life and the lives of others.

“[Aspiring entrepreneurs] have to actually do something that they feel strongly passionate about, and in most cases they should seek inspiration from their own experience… If you had a terrible experience, you should despise the experience to the extent that you are continuously seeking a solution for it,” she advises others."

This article is an exerpt from Here. Thought you guys should meet Best. 

Jada Pinkett-Smith: “The War on Men Through the Degradation of Woman”

“How is man to recognize his full self, his full power through the eye’s of an incomplete woman? The woman who has been stripped of Goddess recognition and diminished to a big ass and full breast for physical comfort only.

The woman who has been silenced so she may forget her spiritual essence because her words stir too much thought outside of the pleasure space. The woman who has been diminished to covering all that rots inside of her with weaves and red bottom shoes. 

I am sure the men, who restructured our societies from cultures that honored woman, had no idea of the outcome. They had no idea that eventually, even men would render themselves empty and longing for meaning, depth and connection.

There is a deep sadness when I witness a man that can’t recognize the emptiness he feels when he objectifies himself as a bank and truly believes he can buy love with things and status. It is painful to witness the betrayal when a woman takes him up on that offer.

He doesn’t recognize that the [creation] of a half woman has contributed to his repressed anger and frustration of feeling he is not enough. He then may love no woman or keep many half women as his prize.

He doesn’t recognize that it’s his submersion in the imbalanced warrior culture, where violence is the means of getting respect and power, as the reason he can break the face of the woman who bore him 4 four children.

When woman is lost, so is man. The truth is, woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul.

Power and control will NEVER out weigh love.

May we all find our way.”

~ Jada Pinkett-Smith, Sinuous Magazine 

Draw Blood

When I was 5
my mother told me to
punch till i drew blood.
I didn't get why
she was so mad.

When I was 12
a man said I liooked sexy
in shorts.
I stopped wearing shorts.
Or playing outside.
I closed my legs,
I sat like a lady.

I wear shorts now.
I walk at night.
I drink tequila.
I reject nice guys.
Someone told me I was
asking for it.

I remembered then,
my mother said...

"when a boy tells you he owns you punch till you draw blood."