Alfarita “Rita” Marley was or rather is the wife of late reggae legend Robert Nesta Marley aka, Bob Marley. She is also the mother to his children. Not only the ones has she given birth to, but even the ones that Bob had out of wedlock. That he gave other women, and told her she couldn’t possibly have all the children he wanted and therefore he was saving her the pain. Sure maybe I pulled it out of context. Maybe I am just a wee bit bias. Ok I lie I am very bias. In fact reading Rita Marley’s book “My Life with Bob Marley; No woman, No cry”http://www.reggae-reviews.com/nowomannocry.html has completely changed my opinion of the man. Not that I had a very great one to begin with. I have never really idolised the man, only recently did I start to enjoy his music. (By recently I mean around 14years old).
In case you have not read the book, the Marleys were married for about 15years. For those 15years Rita Marley shared her husband with a large number of concubines. (Not really concubines but sleeping with a married man makes you one. #JUST SAYING) She probably would have continued to do so had he not passed on. #GOD RESTS HIS SOUL. I know better than to attack a man that a woman loves. And loving Bob Marley is what Rita did best. So why does a feminist like me put a woman like Rita Marley who according to traditional feminists (I consider myself a modern feminist. Promise to explain difference in the next blog.) Is a weakling for not divorcing Bob after his countless PUBLIC affairs, on my list of inspirational women?
It isn’t because she is “Bob Marley’s” wife (that however does automatically make her noteworthy). It is not even because she is a great singer. It isn’t even because of her charity work in Africa or her choice to take Ghana as her home. It isn’t even because she had really sexy kids with him (yes I know they are old now but the pictures of young Ziggy are more attractive than Justin Beiber #FACT). But because and I now will quote Rita; “when I found out about this new situation (bob’s now public cheating) my first thought was that I need to stand on my own two feet. Even though I still loved Bob, and I was glad to see him and for the time being wanted to remain his wife, I realised I could not completely trust this man anymore with my life and my children. I really had to try and forget him for a while _ even if it was hard to do_ and focus on the four children.” Rita Marley makes the list of women who inspire me because of her unbeatable strength to love a man who needed her love. She put away her own feelings for Bob and supported him because he needed her and that right there requires:
a) A prominent ability to be selfless.
b) A sense of strength to be able to still put her children first.
I don’t know really. It’s hard for me to describe. Because I in my beautiful opinion, really believe that women these days lie to themselves. Its one thing to say “I will leave him if he cheats on me” and it’s another when it actually happens. What I adore about Rita is that she never let Bobs affairs stop her from being the woman she wanted to be. She never let it stop her from doing the things she wanted to do for herself and for her children. I come from a country where women’s rights are constantly being violated by men. But what is painful for me is when a woman who is able-bodied and whose husband no longer cares sits, and wallows, and does nothing for her children. She waits for her husband to feed, them to clothe them, while he lives his life. Rita was faced with a situation. She did not know whether Bob will care for her children so she took charge. I am compassionate to the women in Botswana, the women in the world that are abused by men. Do not misunderstand me. It is just that some women are in situations that allow them opportunity to care for their children yet they choose not to.
Rita Marley put her love for her children first. Not because she loved Bob any less but because they needed her more. It is just Rita Marley’s story touched me. It really touched me. For some people Bob’s behaviour is repulsive, but when you read that story, their story, in Rita’s eyes you realise that Bob really loved Rita. And maybe not the way women expect to be loved but the way Rita was okay with being loved. Official Bob Marley Page Rita Marley"s Foundation site
