Guest Writer: Lydia Kasese; Decisions

It seems this Guest Writer thing might become a monthly show. August's guest writer is a Miss Lydia Kasese. You should know I like her. Very much. so here you go... (UnEdited)

GUEST WRITER; LYDIA KASESE'S DECISION

Today, I decided I will not get into a relationship until I get my first degree. My friends' reaction to this over lunch was, “can I take note of this so I can remind you next week when you decide to start dating?”, we laughed about it and spoke about all the other things we had said we would not do but ended up doing the following week.

Just to put it out there I am not doing this because I want to focus on my academics and boys will be a major distraction because I am a firm believer in fun. I came to this conclusion because it dawned on me that I am worth so much more than what guys at this university are willing to offer. I'm worth more than sweaty nights gyrating on guys dicks in a club, sneaking into their residents late at night and sneaking out at 5am so their friends wont know that i'm the “hoe” he hooked up with. I am worth so much more than being a side-chick to a “boy” I know wont ever learn to love me right but because I am lonely I will stick with him. And I call them “boys” because men are so scarce nowadays, but its not just the boys, decent girls are even more scarce.

If I come off sounding bitter then you caught me. I'm not bitter from my own experiences, but because I have seen girls degrade themselves to a door mat and let boys wipe their dirty feet all over their hearts. I have seen girls trade their self dignity for the sake of not being lonely. I have seen girls trade their name for the title “bitch” just so they could be popular amongst the guys. Heck my friends have bent over backwards , leaned over side ways and cried and begged for a boy that threw away what they thought was “love”.


In all honesty, I do not know much about love. I thought I was in love once but turns out I wasn't. My best friend told me “you will know you are in love when you are willing to die for someone”. I have never loved anyone to be willing to give my life for them, my family yes, but not anyone else. But that is not the point. The point is, I do not know much about love but I have an idea of what it should be like. I think love should be like stripping off your clothes and standing in front of an audience you do not know knowing they will see your imperfections but knowing that they will love your imperfect bits anyway. Love should feel like those moments after the honey-moon phase when you find out that I snore like a pig but you still love me for that. Love should be you not being able to sleep because you went a whole day without talking to me.

This kind of love is hard to find in a place where everyone comes to shag and have the “time of their lives”. You cant find it in a place where boys are driven by peer pressure into seeing how many girls they can date at one time without being caught. You cant get this in a place where talk of commitment is as rare as virgins. True, there may be exceptions out there. There maybe boys out there that are willing to settle down and want something more than a quick shag, but lets be realistic how many of these guys are there? Five? Fifteen? And how many of these already have girls? Three quarters of them? All of them?  I don't know, I really don't know.

Let us be realistic ladies. We all know that boys dream of coming to varsity not for a degree but for all the “babes” that the Hollywood has painted exist. Boys are coming to varsity to have the time of their lives, get high and get laid. Getting committed to you is probably the last thing on his mind. But then again I do not know much about boys and relationships either so I will leave it at that. But this is my decision and my choice, who knows, I may change my mind about this decision next week, 2 months from now or even right before I get my degree. I really dont know, i'm human and my head has the tendency to deceive me sometimes. Who knows I just may come across a guy who actually wants to settle and “make love” once in a while and not just shag. I may even find a guy who loves spending time with me not because he knows there's sex coming his way but because being with me makes him happy. Until then, this is me riding solo, piloting my own plane and enjoying the view from above.

BIO;

My name is Lydia Kasese. I'm a student at Rhodes University. I dabble in poetry, I love the arts and music. I love reading, writing. I'm open minded about a lot of things and still unsure about a lot more. I'm not sure of who I am yet but i'm absorbing what society and the media has to offer me and picking out what I find fit in creating myself as a woman. Feel free to follow me on twitter @Ms_Lilly_Py or on my email address nykasese@yahoo.com