Feminist: Not with a Capital F but capital FEMINIST

Last night I lost my first friend due to being a FEMINIST, and yet i feel no remorse or saddnes or the littlest bit of disdain. Since my return from the Young Women Botswana Feminism Leadership Course I am terribly intolerant of any form of misogyny, sexism, racism or even homophobia in my personal space. Something I find extremely funny because on the second last day I told a girl she would lose friends now as a self proclaimed feminist. I told her her world had changed. I was so unawares that despite identifying as a feminist since the first time the word was spat at me this course had changed me. I thought I had long ago reached the peak of being a feminist. That I was at the highest level of understanding. That I understood what needed to be done but I had no idea that this course would make me face patriarchy without fear. I did not even know I had ever been afraid till last night.

When I applied to the Young Women Botswana Feminism Leadership Course I was confident I would get in, I immediately began making arrangements to make sure that the 9 day program in Francistown would not inconvenience my school work or projects. I was excited because I thought the course would prepare me to lead my team. But it changed so much. Firstly I felt a bit proud to find out I had been accepted out of over 90 nation wide applications, I felt both honored and a bit intimidated when I found out that the 25 or so other participants had real cvs while I was going on "I am a feminist cause I was born this way" vibes. 

The one thing I hated about the trip from the moment I applied till the moment I arrived back home was that I would be leaving my family, my free wi-fi, my airconditioned home, and most importantly my personal space for a whole 11 days. It was terrible for me to have to have a roommate. The sad part is my roommate is actually such an amazingly nice person to live with, unfortunately I am not. I've always had my own room so to fall asleep with someone else in the room was difficult for me, so I spent a lot of late nights in the garden. To write poetry or work while someone is in the room also extremely difficult so I got no writing done in 11 days. I also got sick at one point and having to buy medication I had at home was just terrible. Also I got fucken bit by bed bugs in case you wanna stay at Tati River Lodge. But the staff took care of me when I was sick so my scars and I forgive them.

activities

mentally emotionally and physicalle exhausted

But francistown was an amazing experience. The 9 day course was extensive and intensive. We covered entire modules in one day, with multiple activities and large content. On some days I wanted to nap more than anything but it didn't happen. It was like nap rehab. But they weren't just extensive academically, they were emotionally exhausting modules and on one particular day I found myself calling my best friend crying while wishing his white t shirts were available to ruin with my mascara. In fact by the fourth day he could hear I wanted to come home. 

But I didn't really, there was too much knowledge to consume, too many brains to pick, too many women to love and lil zero and I did love them. I felt like this was a place i belonged, not francistown, not that hotel, not with those women but within the African feminist movement. I got to learn from some of Africa's greatest feminist contributors. I mean I met Doo Aphane (Google Her) who is probably King Mswati's least favorite woman, Maude Dikobe (Google Her) a lover of African diaspora and african literature who gave me receipts to pre colonial references of feminists. I also met Isabella aka Bella (Google Her) who produces at least 80% of all the food she eats a goal I have. I also met Elsie Alexander (Google Her) who is actually my best friend Brett Pearmain's grand aunt and a woman in politics. Got fascilitated by Alice Kanengoni (Google Her) who innitiated the gender department in OSISA. Irene Ramatala (Google Her) an activist for arts and culture in botswana who also recognized me as the daughter of Alla Moyo and put my mother on the movement in Botswana wall as one of the feminists who have made a difference. 

A few of the fascilitators were also age mates if I could say... they included Lorato Mpelega, Portia Loeto and Lillian Moremi who I had already met in Young Women Rising as well as Mandipa Machacha who I might possibly wanna be when I grow up. Her or Doo I think. It's impossible to ever be able to put this entire trip and the effect it has had on my life into words. The only thing I guess is for me to show you. It's a monday today but this should have been last week's #feministfriday post so here you go...

Also because she might kill me if she doesn't get props. Thank you to the beautiful Analyn for continuing to bother me about putting this up. You can totally be my woman crush this Wednesday.

Also another thank you to both TAWLA and OSISA for giving me the opportunity to meet the beautiful sisters I shared my space with in Francistown. You are all such amazing women in your own right. 

Signing out, 

FEMINIST also known as Tshepo Jamillah Moyo. 

A poet, writer, and Super Hero. 

A sister in the Movement.

XOXO

Me and Gender rights pioneer swaziland's Doo Aphane

Book Review: A Renegade Called Simphiwe

Reading A Renegade Called Simphiwe has been somewhat of an exhilarating experience. Often the book which is written by South African academic and author Phumla Dineo Gqola is mistaken for a biography of South African musician Simphiwe Dana. However, A Renegade Called Simphiwe is written way beyond Dana and her experiences.  It is without a doubt an excellent record and observation of multiple aspects of South Africa and without a doubt the patriarchal world as a whole.

Through writing about Simphiwe Dana’s opinions, challenges, achievements and South Africa’s reaction to her, Phumla gives you an extensive view of the relations not only between the artist and the audience, but relations within South Africa itself. She explores everything from the Simphiwe’s definition of ‘soft feminism’ to her opinions on monogamy, all the while still finding space to discuss the Language situation in South Africa.

Phumla Dineo Gqola presents you with a one of a kind of book, one she describes as “the kind of book I would like to read”. While the book does explore a variety of things it’s quite clearly written with an intensive view on the relations of males and females in the patriarchal society. It opens you up to a large number of truths.

Phumla’s ability to write about Simphiwe Dana as a woman, a writer, a mother and even an artist, as well as her opinions without validating or invalidating them is spectacular. On countless occasions she disagrees with Simphiwe but is not forceful of her opinion over Dana’s something that writer’s today lack. While the book is not exclusive to female readers, It is without a doubt the perfect gift for any lady during this woman’s month. 

Still On "Your Fuck A N*gger Tip"?

"Still On Your "Fuck A N*gger Tip"?"

My best friend just asked me this. 

So I find myself in another situation were I'm trying to reason why I'm the single 18 year old that "supposedly" hates men. I don't hate men. I adore them. I'm team gender equality for males too, Team Where is the boy child?, Team cook for your husband. But my best friend has come to the conclusion that I hate men or the male species as I like to call them. She says my face falls into a grimace when any one of our friends mentions a boyfriend or a crush. Followed by the statement, "boys are such idiots".

 I'm what the African-american black community refer to as an "Angry Bitter Black Woman." But i'm just African. We don't have "Angry Bitter Black women". Further more if we do, I'm sorry to say I cannot be counted among them. "Angry Bitter Black Women"usually have something to be angry and bitter about; A baby daddy that wont pay child support, a white woman stealing her man, not being able to find a job. I'm an 18 year old girl, no baby ( hence no baby daddy), no man ( hence no white woman stealing my man), and I'm currently typing this from my 4digit paying part time job ( hence no unemployment). 

So how did I, end up in the "Angry Bitter Black Women"Category? I decided to land here. Or maybe they put me here. I mean if I can be categorized as one I must be giving of all the right vibes right.

• Feminist? CHECK
• Single? CHECK

So of course I must hate men. Wrong! I hate relationships. BINGO! That's why I grimace at the mention of boyfriends and crushes. Is it too much to ask to go through a girl's night or lunch without listening to anyone sulk about what an ass their boyfriend is? really? That is all I'm asking. To not be involved anyone's relationship. To not have to look at BBM ( Black Berry messenger) Display Pictures of people making out( that is disgusting why are you taking pictures while kissing), or endure the tears of a friend after a break up? I don't know what to say when this happens. I don't know how to react when you tell me what a fool he is. Truth told by the second minute into the conversation I've stopped listening and I'm trying to think of what to say to make you feel better. I feel horrible the whole time because I now feel like I am such a bad friend. Then on top of it... You're allowed to call your boyfriend a fool but I'm not. Even when he is a fool. 

Not only do I hate other people's relationships ( except for the occasional "nxawww aren't they cute") I pretty much despise the idea of me being in one. I'm 18 for Pete's sake!!! *insert me singing  Young, Wild and Free _ Snoop Dog ft Wiz Khalifa * I read a tweet the other day, "if by this age you haven't realized your parents were right about a lot of things you A. are not growing up, or B. didn't have very good parents" So I'm happy to say I have very good parents and I'm growing up because * sighs* MY MOM WAS RIGHT ABOUT BOYS. Yes, she was. In fact she is. No not the "boys just want to get into your pants talk"( that's my daddy's thing). My mother's reason for not dating at a young age was one and only one, "Relationships will hold you back from achieving what you want to.". That is it really. That's why I'm single. 

I'm single because I have dreams, ambitions and plans that don't allow for me to have a boyfriend. At least not now. Relationships are about compromise. They're about work, time and effort. Love doesn't build a relationship. I wish it did because I believe in love so much.  Trust doesn't build a relationship. Time and effort does. I don't have the time and effort to spare. My plate is full. I have a full time  (9 to 5) job. That I'm hoping will become part time as I go back to being a full time 3rd year student ( double majoring in politics and administration) this august. I run two of my blogs, ( check out my new poetry/photography blogspot Scribbles). I'm also now Brand Manager for my cousin's DJ group HouseNerds. I'm an Amway consultant. Manage my own poetry career. and For Pete's sake I'm trying to get a novel published.

I don't like to report to anyone. I don't like to discuss my ideas before I go for it. I just go for it. I'm too independent for all that. Even questions "like were are you?""who are you with?" I don't have the energy for the drama. Or for the emotional commitment of a relationship, Sure they're boys I like, boy's i'd take home and show my parents but I know I wont give them 100% . They deserve 100%. Everyone does. But at this point in my life, Tshepo Jamillah Moyo deserves 100% more than anybody else. I'm so filled with myself and my ambition that quite frankly there is not a thing any man out there can offer me that I don't already have. I have so much love filling my heart from my family and friends that a life partner wont change anything. besides, before you can be with or love someone you have to be comfortable with yourself. To define yourself, because otherwise you mesh together and become an ugly mess. So until i have the time and effort to spare.. I am Single and Happy with it.

CHEERS TO BEING SINGLE

I also wanted to include a BBM a male friend of mine sent me on his opinion as to why I'm single it made me smile. :)