This semester I’m taking a lot of
classes that seem to continue to bring up the feminism issue. Which is weird
right? I mean considering my majors. So I’m in class opening my mouth (because
it just has a brain of its own) and having to encounter such strong opposition.
On Monday(13 August) in my contemporary Africa class we were discussing how colonialism
had a strong influence in cementing the patriarchal systems of Africa by making
them law. For example the known custom that the first born male inherited everything
was now a law. It further fuelled patriarchy in that it allowed men to be the
bread winners in the family by sending them off to earn income in fields or
mines, leaving the women as temporary head of households. So I being me of
course decided to ask my lecturer if he thought that colonialism could be
blamed for the degrading and disregard of women in today’s African society. I
went on to further elaborate that by this I meant that did he think that before
colonialism; before Africans had laid their eyes on the “white man” did he have
any prior knowledge to them having lived as equals (women and men)? I wasn’t
asking to be controversial. I was asking simply because I assumed he might
share a writing or text he had read about Pre-colonial African History. I’ve
read a few internet sites on how women were viewed as goddesses back in the
day. But I was hoping for an academic source.
Either way my intentions aside, the class headed into a discussion and I
was again misunderstood.
A student argued that our chief
ideology still carried patriarchy as they were no women. I argued that when I
said equality I didn’t mean we’re the same. I meant a mutual understanding and
respect for each other. I went further on to say that people need to understand
that when tribes went to war, chiefs led the troops. It only made sense to send
a man. Another argued that the initiation that women’s clitorises were cut off
to increase a man’s pleasure during sex. I argued that men had circumcisions
performed at their versions of these ceremonies. Furthermore they were probably
unaware of the pleasure nerves located in a clitoris. My favourite answer
however was by a gentleman in my class from Uganda. His theory consisted of a
thing I call the male ego (I intend to write a paper or thesis on this one
day). According to him, “men probably lived with a mutual respect and harmony
with their women. Maybe even viewed them as sacred and goddesses. However when
slavery came, two things happened, men were stripped of their title as protector
and they were beaten into submission. They reacted as any man who prides
himself would; they looked for the next thing to assert power over, something
weaker than them, Women. Maybe this was the answer I was looking for. Maybe it
was an excuse I wanted to give African men to at least have a little faith in
them. But I was content with this answer.
Then Today (15 August 2012) I
again went of blasting. We were discussing recruitment methods in Personnel
Management 306, when the topic of blood tests came up. Our lecturer mentioned
that in certain sections of the working economy a pregnancy test is required.
He went on to further mention that in the BDF for example, even two years after
admission for training or a job getting pregnant is an offence. But doesn’t
this question the labour laws that protect women from gender discrimination in
the work force? Doesn’t it go against all my principles? As the voice of women
in my class went on to get dramatic and touched over this. Sighing out loud and
protesting to my lecture as if he’d made the policy, I fell into Human.
Remember I’m human before female? My first objective is to preserve human life.
My lecture required I give my opinion on this and my answer was,
“I’m a feminist. My definition of feminism
of course is simply my belief that being a woman should not pose as an
advantage or disadvantage anywhere in my life. But the fact of the matter is as
a woman you have a responsibility to your child before yourself. If you’re
going to work in a radioactive environment save us the law suits and use birth
control. If you’re going to join the army don’t be dumb enough to think you’re
going to war and not risk losing your child. Quite frankly women need to accept
they’re women and stop being so dramatic.”
I didn’t tell you these two
stories just so you know what I’m doing in my classes. I told them to you
because they have one common denominator here even though they’re so completely
different discussions. In the first story, my question is misunderstood to mean
that I think women and men are equal, while in the second one the women show an
urge to want to be equal. Women and Men the gender equality movement, I’m over
that. I’ve BEEN over that. I’m not about that life. In fact I’ve never been
about it. That’s not my war. That’s not what this blog is about. And if you
thought it was I suggest you leave now because it is about to get ugly.
I refused to celebrate Woman’s
day this year because I’m a woman every day of my life. I once asked a
homosexual acquaintance why gays wore their sexuality so out there. He said
“it’s a title we’ve been given, a label. We have to wear it proudly so it loses
its power to hurt us.” What does that
mean? I’m not a transgender little boy hidden in a woman’s body, I am a woman.
I don’t need to be told I’m a woman. I don’t need to be reminded or taught how
to become a woman. I’m a woman that is it. I know where my responsibilities
lie. I know what I’m supposed to do. I feel like a woman. Now these myths that
women and men are equal screw it. Fuck it. I’m not about that. We have roles.
We’re like lock and key. We’re an oiled machine that works well or at least
worked well at one point. The truth is if we’re going to be honest as women
it’s going to hurt.
I mean let’s put aside the jobs
we have. Let’s put aside our egos. Let’s put aside this feminism concept. What
do you want? What do you need? Is it protection? Maybe it is safety? Respect is
an option. That’s what I want for all women; Respect. I don’t want to sit here
and tell you a lie. Half truths like you can do anything a man can do when you
put your mind to it. Truth is let’s stop with the super hero stunts. Let’s pack
away the capes. You can’t go and be a soldier and be pregnant. That’s why you
have options, Birth control, Condoms. I mean you even have abortions as an
option. It’s your body. It’s your life. It’s your dreams. You make the choices,
you make the decisions. You’re not a man. Truth is unless you’re planning on
having a sex change you probably will never be. It’s fine. It really is. You’re
a woman. That’s fine as well. Accept it. You’re not going to be equal to a man;
neither will you be inferior or superior. You’re one with him, a team. You’re a
human before a woman. All you need is respect.
