Young Woman Rising

Hi guys... It's silly to apologise everytime I go missing but here I am again. If you haven't liked our Facebook page... search 1Third of A Woman and press like to get all the interesting stuff young women should read. Now this is to update you on what a young pretty feminist like myself has been up to.

A few months ago I was as usual trolling the internet trying to find someone to make fun of or something to be mad about when I stumbled across a call for participants for a workshop by Young Women Rising. Of course I applied. And unexpectedly I was selected to join a group of other girls. They're so many. I now call myself a young Riser.

Young Women Rising is the baby of Portia Loeto a gender studies lecturer at the University of Botswana. Upon our first convening she expresses how slowly she is nurturing it and why Young Women Rising is important to her. "It's about creating spaces where young women can discuss and take action against the things that bother them." was a phrase that came up often in her description of the initiative.

The group has met twice so far and I fall more and more in love with the young women I've met through these workshops. Upon our first convening we discussed when we realised we were girls and what being a girl meant to us. It was interesting for me to listen to other ladies share their experiences. Considering that I've grown up in the home of a feminist I never really had gender stereotypical roles in my house.

Some of the girls shared growing up with single parents, some with male siblings, some even with their grandparents. It made me wonder how different my childhood might have been if I had had a brother. Would my father still consider me his best friend?

Some of the girls shared their hardships growing up, everything from step parents to orphanhood, to not always having the best. I actually almost felt guilty for my middle class privilege. One is a rape survivor with the most vibrant smile and laugh. She looks like she floats on candy floss clouds and tastes like blueberry cheesecake ice cream. Her happiness is so infectious I want to take her home and cuddle her on the days when my soul is grey.

A mathematician or as she says "geek" who is tired of being bullied in her male dominated field. A set of twins who are "the going" as they'd say. Comrades. Almost nearly as amazingly interested in politics as my first year classmates in POL 101. I wish I still cared about it nearly as much. But I honestly only care about amazing (black) women.

The group is large. I could talk about them all day. I mean we've even got two mother's on the team and they both have sons which makes me really fucken happy. for lack of a nicer word. Because their sons have no choice but to be amazing cause I mean dope moms. There's also two young ladies who really care about their GPAs but have time for everything else while I personally am still trying to find where it is one sees their GPA. (sorry mom)

Oh Gosh.. they're so many. All so amazing in their own way. All with such different opinions, different paths, different ambitions but so inspirational. They make me feel less alone. Maybe that's not something particularly amazing to write about. But I wish you could meet them. You'd love them almost nearly as much as I do.

Still On "Your Fuck A N*gger Tip"?

"Still On Your "Fuck A N*gger Tip"?"

My best friend just asked me this. 

So I find myself in another situation were I'm trying to reason why I'm the single 18 year old that "supposedly" hates men. I don't hate men. I adore them. I'm team gender equality for males too, Team Where is the boy child?, Team cook for your husband. But my best friend has come to the conclusion that I hate men or the male species as I like to call them. She says my face falls into a grimace when any one of our friends mentions a boyfriend or a crush. Followed by the statement, "boys are such idiots".

 I'm what the African-american black community refer to as an "Angry Bitter Black Woman." But i'm just African. We don't have "Angry Bitter Black women". Further more if we do, I'm sorry to say I cannot be counted among them. "Angry Bitter Black Women"usually have something to be angry and bitter about; A baby daddy that wont pay child support, a white woman stealing her man, not being able to find a job. I'm an 18 year old girl, no baby ( hence no baby daddy), no man ( hence no white woman stealing my man), and I'm currently typing this from my 4digit paying part time job ( hence no unemployment). 

So how did I, end up in the "Angry Bitter Black Women"Category? I decided to land here. Or maybe they put me here. I mean if I can be categorized as one I must be giving of all the right vibes right.

• Feminist? CHECK
• Single? CHECK

So of course I must hate men. Wrong! I hate relationships. BINGO! That's why I grimace at the mention of boyfriends and crushes. Is it too much to ask to go through a girl's night or lunch without listening to anyone sulk about what an ass their boyfriend is? really? That is all I'm asking. To not be involved anyone's relationship. To not have to look at BBM ( Black Berry messenger) Display Pictures of people making out( that is disgusting why are you taking pictures while kissing), or endure the tears of a friend after a break up? I don't know what to say when this happens. I don't know how to react when you tell me what a fool he is. Truth told by the second minute into the conversation I've stopped listening and I'm trying to think of what to say to make you feel better. I feel horrible the whole time because I now feel like I am such a bad friend. Then on top of it... You're allowed to call your boyfriend a fool but I'm not. Even when he is a fool. 

Not only do I hate other people's relationships ( except for the occasional "nxawww aren't they cute") I pretty much despise the idea of me being in one. I'm 18 for Pete's sake!!! *insert me singing  Young, Wild and Free _ Snoop Dog ft Wiz Khalifa * I read a tweet the other day, "if by this age you haven't realized your parents were right about a lot of things you A. are not growing up, or B. didn't have very good parents" So I'm happy to say I have very good parents and I'm growing up because * sighs* MY MOM WAS RIGHT ABOUT BOYS. Yes, she was. In fact she is. No not the "boys just want to get into your pants talk"( that's my daddy's thing). My mother's reason for not dating at a young age was one and only one, "Relationships will hold you back from achieving what you want to.". That is it really. That's why I'm single. 

I'm single because I have dreams, ambitions and plans that don't allow for me to have a boyfriend. At least not now. Relationships are about compromise. They're about work, time and effort. Love doesn't build a relationship. I wish it did because I believe in love so much.  Trust doesn't build a relationship. Time and effort does. I don't have the time and effort to spare. My plate is full. I have a full time  (9 to 5) job. That I'm hoping will become part time as I go back to being a full time 3rd year student ( double majoring in politics and administration) this august. I run two of my blogs, ( check out my new poetry/photography blogspot Scribbles). I'm also now Brand Manager for my cousin's DJ group HouseNerds. I'm an Amway consultant. Manage my own poetry career. and For Pete's sake I'm trying to get a novel published.

I don't like to report to anyone. I don't like to discuss my ideas before I go for it. I just go for it. I'm too independent for all that. Even questions "like were are you?""who are you with?" I don't have the energy for the drama. Or for the emotional commitment of a relationship, Sure they're boys I like, boy's i'd take home and show my parents but I know I wont give them 100% . They deserve 100%. Everyone does. But at this point in my life, Tshepo Jamillah Moyo deserves 100% more than anybody else. I'm so filled with myself and my ambition that quite frankly there is not a thing any man out there can offer me that I don't already have. I have so much love filling my heart from my family and friends that a life partner wont change anything. besides, before you can be with or love someone you have to be comfortable with yourself. To define yourself, because otherwise you mesh together and become an ugly mess. So until i have the time and effort to spare.. I am Single and Happy with it.

CHEERS TO BEING SINGLE

I also wanted to include a BBM a male friend of mine sent me on his opinion as to why I'm single it made me smile. :)