Jada Pinkett-Smith: “The War on Men Through the Degradation of Woman”

“How is man to recognize his full self, his full power through the eye’s of an incomplete woman? The woman who has been stripped of Goddess recognition and diminished to a big ass and full breast for physical comfort only.

The woman who has been silenced so she may forget her spiritual essence because her words stir too much thought outside of the pleasure space. The woman who has been diminished to covering all that rots inside of her with weaves and red bottom shoes. 

I am sure the men, who restructured our societies from cultures that honored woman, had no idea of the outcome. They had no idea that eventually, even men would render themselves empty and longing for meaning, depth and connection.

There is a deep sadness when I witness a man that can’t recognize the emptiness he feels when he objectifies himself as a bank and truly believes he can buy love with things and status. It is painful to witness the betrayal when a woman takes him up on that offer.

He doesn’t recognize that the [creation] of a half woman has contributed to his repressed anger and frustration of feeling he is not enough. He then may love no woman or keep many half women as his prize.

He doesn’t recognize that it’s his submersion in the imbalanced warrior culture, where violence is the means of getting respect and power, as the reason he can break the face of the woman who bore him 4 four children.

When woman is lost, so is man. The truth is, woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul.

Power and control will NEVER out weigh love.

May we all find our way.”

~ Jada Pinkett-Smith, Sinuous Magazine 

Draw Blood

When I was 5
my mother told me to
punch till i drew blood.
I didn't get why
she was so mad.

When I was 12
a man said I liooked sexy
in shorts.
I stopped wearing shorts.
Or playing outside.
I closed my legs,
I sat like a lady.

I wear shorts now.
I walk at night.
I drink tequila.
I reject nice guys.
Someone told me I was
asking for it.

I remembered then,
my mother said...

"when a boy tells you he owns you punch till you draw blood."

Book Review: A Renegade Called Simphiwe

Reading A Renegade Called Simphiwe has been somewhat of an exhilarating experience. Often the book which is written by South African academic and author Phumla Dineo Gqola is mistaken for a biography of South African musician Simphiwe Dana. However, A Renegade Called Simphiwe is written way beyond Dana and her experiences.  It is without a doubt an excellent record and observation of multiple aspects of South Africa and without a doubt the patriarchal world as a whole.

Through writing about Simphiwe Dana’s opinions, challenges, achievements and South Africa’s reaction to her, Phumla gives you an extensive view of the relations not only between the artist and the audience, but relations within South Africa itself. She explores everything from the Simphiwe’s definition of ‘soft feminism’ to her opinions on monogamy, all the while still finding space to discuss the Language situation in South Africa.

Phumla Dineo Gqola presents you with a one of a kind of book, one she describes as “the kind of book I would like to read”. While the book does explore a variety of things it’s quite clearly written with an intensive view on the relations of males and females in the patriarchal society. It opens you up to a large number of truths.

Phumla’s ability to write about Simphiwe Dana as a woman, a writer, a mother and even an artist, as well as her opinions without validating or invalidating them is spectacular. On countless occasions she disagrees with Simphiwe but is not forceful of her opinion over Dana’s something that writer’s today lack. While the book is not exclusive to female readers, It is without a doubt the perfect gift for any lady during this woman’s month. 

We should all be feminists: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie at TEDxEuston

Being A Fit Motswana

I recently hit 50kg. I’ve never been 50kg so it’s quite a messy experience being caught between, “you’re just growing” and “oh my I’m getting fat”. Fortunately one thing is certain about me, when I don’t like something I don’t like it. So I don’t like weighing 50 KG. So I decided to finally follow through on my vow that 19 would be the age of healthy. I however completely underestimated how difficult it is to be a fit African girl.

As is the case in most cultures, feasts are a common way of celebrating anything.

 Here in Botswana we glorify women and even babies with a thick appetite and thick body to match it. When I was younger my “skinny” figure was a cause for concern for my family, a little bit of teasing from my cousins and once a partner that sat and watched me eat because he suspected I didn’t eat much. Food is a form of bonding, it’s a way of interacting and accompanied by the modern lifestyle it is really fostering bad eating habits and unhealthy lifestyles.

I had no idea of this until I started my attempt at being physically fit and healthy but a little secret on this side of the world is that no one really likes and supports a fit black woman. The comments are exhausting and I’ve stopped trying to share this part of my life with anyone. “Don’t get that tight ass, that’s for white women”, “but You look perfect”, “are you benching your boyfriend or?” just some of the comments I’ve received. I walked into the gym and an instructor even exclaimed that I was attempting to ruin a perfectly good body.

 Honestly I’d like to make it clear that it’s not about how I look really, actually never mind abs are pretty cool. But this is about being Healthy and Fit: it’s about getting to the top of the stairs and not needing a nap as well as oxygen mask, getting through 8 hours of sleep as well as waking up with no trouble. Two weeks in and I am already waking up before my alarm clock rings.

But the worst part is really how difficult it is to find the foods that my new lifestyle requires. I’ve suddenly began to sympathize with Vegetarians and Vegans because in this country well there is no healthy option; Except for Green salad. There is always green salad for some reason. Living in my parent’s house doesn’t make it any easier for the record. My father keeps forgetting I do not drink Fizzy drinks while he laughs at my attempts at working out. I forgive him because he has promised to buy me the Nike trainers which all the cool fitblrs have.

Truth told if the tumblr blog community of “Fitblrs” had more black women I’d probably feel less alone in my journey. But I’m finding it hard to find body idols or role models that are anything close to what I look like. Sadly the truth is being a fit black girl is proving to be a very difficult and lonely path. Since I’ve been trying, failing and succeeding for about the past 8months I’ve decided I’m not falling off the healthy living train ever again, simply because starting again is so damn exhausting.

Honestly it is your body but I feel wonderful. So I thought there is probably another girl out there who needs a start and well I’m going to share what I’ve learnt in the past 8 months.

• Water and sleep are your best friends.
• Squats are your booty’s best friend, while running is the best all body work out there is.
• Eating clean isn’t dieting, it is the way humans should eat. Simply start by cutting packaged processed foods ( Fizzy drinks, crisps, etc).
• Eat. Eat. And Eat. Your metabolism needs at least 4 meals a day.
• Breakfast matters.
• Gym is not a delete bad eating button.
• You have the time to work out. 10min of skipping rope before your morning shower does wonders.
• Take the stairs. And the long way.
• Quitting is never doing it. Falling off is fine.
• You don’t have to give up your favourite foods.
• Also weights don’t mean bulk they mean muscle.
• The first two weeks hurt, and then it feels good. So don’t fall off.
• 
  

Why White America has ruined White Men for me.

There is a white American marine texting me right now. He calls it flirting and would like to take me on a date. It’s cute, Shems. He is currently in my country for some service with the United States Embassy and how I met him is really such an awkward story I’d rather not share.

Now despite this young man having all the qualifications I usually have for men whose advances I bother to entertain he is failing miserably. Unfortunately I’m sorry to say it’s because he is white. I've never had an interest in a white man so I thought, hey maybe I’m just not that into him. But now I’m absolutely sure it has everything to do with him being a white man.

How might I know this? Every time he says I am gorgeous I see porn title flashing through my mind, “Ebony slut hungry for some white dick”, “Black maid seduces white boss”, “explorer gets jungle fever”... Basically I see myself being made into a fetish. Like when Justin Beiber *cringes* cheated on Selena Gomez with a certain African American model and White America’s headline punch line was “Justin Beiber Cheats with Black girl”. Basically would I become “the first black girl I dated” or “Oh but I date black girls”? Then I wonder if his friends made jokes about him enjoying some African pussy while down here. I also wonder if I’m on a 20 things to do before I am 30 list. “Go to Africa and bang African girls.”

Am I over thinking this? Yes? No? Maybe? Have I watched too many Tyler Perry (I didn’t know better) movies? Or have I been on the Zimmerman hashtag too long? Because I want to Google where he is from and check how many black boys have been shot in that neighborhood and how their courts dealt with it.

It doesn’t go just that far, the worst for me is whether he’ll use pictures of us to justify why as a white male who dates black women he does not fall into the category of racists that support Zimmerman’s murdering a 17 year old black child. 

Is he aware that he has white privilege? And that in my city when we go out girls will snicker that I’m seeing him for his bank account. Despite him probably making not much more than me (that’s a lie I’m a student and journalist, my bank account doesn't know what money is) but white is synonymous with rich in Africa.

I also wonder if on our first date he’ll ask to touch my hair now that it’s out of its braids. I wonder how I will feel about him touching it even if he was trying to be innocently cute in getting it out of my face. I also find myself wanting to ask him how he feels about the fact that the United States system is designed to keep the poor  just that, poor, and that well the poorest were black. 

But I’m not sure how he’ll react and if my opinions might tantamount to hate speech therefore landing me in Guantanamo bay being force fed Monsato GMOs. After all he is a marine, he might be patriotic and ready to die for his country and stuff and I’m just here a 19 year old black girl trying to get her driver’s licence. So maybe despite it eventually coming from him being a white American male, it might also simply be that I cannot be with someone that I cannot be comfortable voicing my opinion to. 

1thirdofawoman reconstruction

Hi there,
I'm sorry first of all. But I was not happy with one third of a woman at all.
So i decided to spend a little money in having some graphics designed for the blog. Yes I know people DIY all the time but i figure if you're going to google me this will come up. It better look good and represent me well.
So until further notice 1thirdofawoman will not be up. Hopefully we wont have to move but I'm prepared to make this work now. Professionally.

with love, TJ.