A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... by Maya Angelou

My mom sent me this in my teen years. Truth told with Maya having passed away I thought I'd share it. Dr. Angelou was a phenomenal woman and quite frankly her life speaks for her. 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a youth she’s content to leave behind….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will
make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a feeling of control over her destiny…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to quit a job, break up with a lover and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but it’s over…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW….
how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…be it to her best friend’s kitchen table or a charming Inn in the woods
when her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
What she can and can’t accomplish in a day, a month…and a year…

Best Ayiorwoth (22), founder of GIPOMO, Uganda

"When Best Ayiorwoth lost her parents at a young age, she had to cut short her high school education because her older siblings struggled to pay her tuition in the Nebbi District in northernUganda.

Having always wanted to take her education further, this was a massive disappointment and inspired her to start an award-winning microcredit business at the age of 19, that would go on to help hundreds of women and young girls in Uganda.

Ayiorwoth realised that if she could empower mothers financially, they would support the education of their children, particularly young girls. “I have seen that when families can’t maintain all their children at school and have to make a choice, they would often choose a boy over a girl,” she told How we made it in Africa.

At 17 she moved to Kampala and joined S7 Project, a skills empowerment centre, where she started to form her business idea for Girls Power Micro-Lending Organisation (GIPOMO). Using her savings earned while working in a restaurant, Ayiorwoth returned to her home community in early 2011 and started giving monthly micro loans to women with small businesses, on the condition that they kept their children, especially young girls, in school.

GIPOMO has helped 64 women start their own businesses, 111 women expand their existing businesses and kept 168 girls in school by supporting their mothers. Last year Ayiorwoth won USh. 1m (US$400) at the FINA Africa Enterprise Business Challenge and first place and $25,000 at the Anzisha Prize.

Ayiorwoth credits much of GIPOMO’s success to the good mentor she had at S7 Project and advises other young entrepreneurs to look for mentors.

She also believes her success comes from using the challenges she has faced as inspiration to make a difference in both her life and the lives of others.

“[Aspiring entrepreneurs] have to actually do something that they feel strongly passionate about, and in most cases they should seek inspiration from their own experience… If you had a terrible experience, you should despise the experience to the extent that you are continuously seeking a solution for it,” she advises others."

This article is an exerpt from Here. Thought you guys should meet Best. 

Jada Pinkett-Smith: “The War on Men Through the Degradation of Woman”

“How is man to recognize his full self, his full power through the eye’s of an incomplete woman? The woman who has been stripped of Goddess recognition and diminished to a big ass and full breast for physical comfort only.

The woman who has been silenced so she may forget her spiritual essence because her words stir too much thought outside of the pleasure space. The woman who has been diminished to covering all that rots inside of her with weaves and red bottom shoes. 

I am sure the men, who restructured our societies from cultures that honored woman, had no idea of the outcome. They had no idea that eventually, even men would render themselves empty and longing for meaning, depth and connection.

There is a deep sadness when I witness a man that can’t recognize the emptiness he feels when he objectifies himself as a bank and truly believes he can buy love with things and status. It is painful to witness the betrayal when a woman takes him up on that offer.

He doesn’t recognize that the [creation] of a half woman has contributed to his repressed anger and frustration of feeling he is not enough. He then may love no woman or keep many half women as his prize.

He doesn’t recognize that it’s his submersion in the imbalanced warrior culture, where violence is the means of getting respect and power, as the reason he can break the face of the woman who bore him 4 four children.

When woman is lost, so is man. The truth is, woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul.

Power and control will NEVER out weigh love.

May we all find our way.”

~ Jada Pinkett-Smith, Sinuous Magazine 

Draw Blood

When I was 5
my mother told me to
punch till i drew blood.
I didn't get why
she was so mad.

When I was 12
a man said I liooked sexy
in shorts.
I stopped wearing shorts.
Or playing outside.
I closed my legs,
I sat like a lady.

I wear shorts now.
I walk at night.
I drink tequila.
I reject nice guys.
Someone told me I was
asking for it.

I remembered then,
my mother said...

"when a boy tells you he owns you punch till you draw blood."

Book Review: A Renegade Called Simphiwe

Reading A Renegade Called Simphiwe has been somewhat of an exhilarating experience. Often the book which is written by South African academic and author Phumla Dineo Gqola is mistaken for a biography of South African musician Simphiwe Dana. However, A Renegade Called Simphiwe is written way beyond Dana and her experiences.  It is without a doubt an excellent record and observation of multiple aspects of South Africa and without a doubt the patriarchal world as a whole.

Through writing about Simphiwe Dana’s opinions, challenges, achievements and South Africa’s reaction to her, Phumla gives you an extensive view of the relations not only between the artist and the audience, but relations within South Africa itself. She explores everything from the Simphiwe’s definition of ‘soft feminism’ to her opinions on monogamy, all the while still finding space to discuss the Language situation in South Africa.

Phumla Dineo Gqola presents you with a one of a kind of book, one she describes as “the kind of book I would like to read”. While the book does explore a variety of things it’s quite clearly written with an intensive view on the relations of males and females in the patriarchal society. It opens you up to a large number of truths.

Phumla’s ability to write about Simphiwe Dana as a woman, a writer, a mother and even an artist, as well as her opinions without validating or invalidating them is spectacular. On countless occasions she disagrees with Simphiwe but is not forceful of her opinion over Dana’s something that writer’s today lack. While the book is not exclusive to female readers, It is without a doubt the perfect gift for any lady during this woman’s month. 

We should all be feminists: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie at TEDxEuston

Being A Fit Motswana

I recently hit 50kg. I’ve never been 50kg so it’s quite a messy experience being caught between, “you’re just growing” and “oh my I’m getting fat”. Fortunately one thing is certain about me, when I don’t like something I don’t like it. So I don’t like weighing 50 KG. So I decided to finally follow through on my vow that 19 would be the age of healthy. I however completely underestimated how difficult it is to be a fit African girl.

As is the case in most cultures, feasts are a common way of celebrating anything.

 Here in Botswana we glorify women and even babies with a thick appetite and thick body to match it. When I was younger my “skinny” figure was a cause for concern for my family, a little bit of teasing from my cousins and once a partner that sat and watched me eat because he suspected I didn’t eat much. Food is a form of bonding, it’s a way of interacting and accompanied by the modern lifestyle it is really fostering bad eating habits and unhealthy lifestyles.

I had no idea of this until I started my attempt at being physically fit and healthy but a little secret on this side of the world is that no one really likes and supports a fit black woman. The comments are exhausting and I’ve stopped trying to share this part of my life with anyone. “Don’t get that tight ass, that’s for white women”, “but You look perfect”, “are you benching your boyfriend or?” just some of the comments I’ve received. I walked into the gym and an instructor even exclaimed that I was attempting to ruin a perfectly good body.

 Honestly I’d like to make it clear that it’s not about how I look really, actually never mind abs are pretty cool. But this is about being Healthy and Fit: it’s about getting to the top of the stairs and not needing a nap as well as oxygen mask, getting through 8 hours of sleep as well as waking up with no trouble. Two weeks in and I am already waking up before my alarm clock rings.

But the worst part is really how difficult it is to find the foods that my new lifestyle requires. I’ve suddenly began to sympathize with Vegetarians and Vegans because in this country well there is no healthy option; Except for Green salad. There is always green salad for some reason. Living in my parent’s house doesn’t make it any easier for the record. My father keeps forgetting I do not drink Fizzy drinks while he laughs at my attempts at working out. I forgive him because he has promised to buy me the Nike trainers which all the cool fitblrs have.

Truth told if the tumblr blog community of “Fitblrs” had more black women I’d probably feel less alone in my journey. But I’m finding it hard to find body idols or role models that are anything close to what I look like. Sadly the truth is being a fit black girl is proving to be a very difficult and lonely path. Since I’ve been trying, failing and succeeding for about the past 8months I’ve decided I’m not falling off the healthy living train ever again, simply because starting again is so damn exhausting.

Honestly it is your body but I feel wonderful. So I thought there is probably another girl out there who needs a start and well I’m going to share what I’ve learnt in the past 8 months.

• Water and sleep are your best friends.
• Squats are your booty’s best friend, while running is the best all body work out there is.
• Eating clean isn’t dieting, it is the way humans should eat. Simply start by cutting packaged processed foods ( Fizzy drinks, crisps, etc).
• Eat. Eat. And Eat. Your metabolism needs at least 4 meals a day.
• Breakfast matters.
• Gym is not a delete bad eating button.
• You have the time to work out. 10min of skipping rope before your morning shower does wonders.
• Take the stairs. And the long way.
• Quitting is never doing it. Falling off is fine.
• You don’t have to give up your favourite foods.
• Also weights don’t mean bulk they mean muscle.
• The first two weeks hurt, and then it feels good. So don’t fall off.
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