Super Hero Stunts

Let’s talk feminism. I imagine you’ve been reading this blog for a while and have come to the conclusion that it’s written by a female for females. You’ve also probably also come to the conclusion that I’m “politicking my outrageous, wild, provocative shit” as one of my twitter followers @PRLBeekstar put it. You’ve seen the Feminism tag. If you know me personally, you’ve probably even heard me say “In my spare time (which is disappearing with every passing day) I run my feminist BlogSpot.” If you know me personally you probably know that I fight very few wars. One of which happens to be the war for women’s rights. This is how I view myself, Human before Woman, Woman before African, African before Writer, and Writer before poet. These are also the order of my wars. I fight for humanity, then women, followed by Africans, Writing then poetry. But you should also know that even though I’m very judgemental I accept people for whom and what they are. Which is what I feel a lot of women need to start doing.

This semester I’m taking a lot of classes that seem to continue to bring up the feminism issue. Which is weird right? I mean considering my majors. So I’m in class opening my mouth (because it just has a brain of its own) and having to encounter such strong opposition. On Monday(13 August) in my contemporary Africa class we were discussing how colonialism had a strong influence in cementing the patriarchal systems of Africa by making them law. For example the known custom that the first born male inherited everything was now a law. It further fuelled patriarchy in that it allowed men to be the bread winners in the family by sending them off to earn income in fields or mines, leaving the women as temporary head of households. So I being me of course decided to ask my lecturer if he thought that colonialism could be blamed for the degrading and disregard of women in today’s African society. I went on to further elaborate that by this I meant that did he think that before colonialism; before Africans had laid their eyes on the “white man” did he have any prior knowledge to them having lived as equals (women and men)? I wasn’t asking to be controversial. I was asking simply because I assumed he might share a writing or text he had read about Pre-colonial African History. I’ve read a few internet sites on how women were viewed as goddesses back in the day. But I was hoping for an academic source.  Either way my intentions aside, the class headed into a discussion and I was again misunderstood.

A student argued that our chief ideology still carried patriarchy as they were no women. I argued that when I said equality I didn’t mean we’re the same. I meant a mutual understanding and respect for each other. I went further on to say that people need to understand that when tribes went to war, chiefs led the troops. It only made sense to send a man. Another argued that the initiation that women’s clitorises were cut off to increase a man’s pleasure during sex. I argued that men had circumcisions performed at their versions of these ceremonies. Furthermore they were probably unaware of the pleasure nerves located in a clitoris. My favourite answer however was by a gentleman in my class from Uganda. His theory consisted of a thing I call the male ego (I intend to write a paper or thesis on this one day). According to him, “men probably lived with a mutual respect and harmony with their women. Maybe even viewed them as sacred and goddesses. However when slavery came, two things happened, men were stripped of their title as protector and they were beaten into submission. They reacted as any man who prides himself would; they looked for the next thing to assert power over, something weaker than them, Women. Maybe this was the answer I was looking for. Maybe it was an excuse I wanted to give African men to at least have a little faith in them. But I was content with this answer.

Then Today (15 August 2012) I again went of blasting. We were discussing recruitment methods in Personnel Management 306, when the topic of blood tests came up. Our lecturer mentioned that in certain sections of the working economy a pregnancy test is required. He went on to further mention that in the BDF for example, even two years after admission for training or a job getting pregnant is an offence. But doesn’t this question the labour laws that protect women from gender discrimination in the work force? Doesn’t it go against all my principles? As the voice of women in my class went on to get dramatic and touched over this. Sighing out loud and protesting to my lecture as if he’d made the policy, I fell into Human. Remember I’m human before female? My first objective is to preserve human life. My lecture required I give my opinion on this and my answer was,      

       “I’m a feminist. My definition of feminism of course is simply my belief that being a woman should not pose as an advantage or disadvantage anywhere in my life. But the fact of the matter is as a woman you have a responsibility to your child before yourself. If you’re going to work in a radioactive environment save us the law suits and use birth control. If you’re going to join the army don’t be dumb enough to think you’re going to war and not risk losing your child. Quite frankly women need to accept they’re women and stop being so dramatic.”

I didn’t tell you these two stories just so you know what I’m doing in my classes. I told them to you because they have one common denominator here even though they’re so completely different discussions. In the first story, my question is misunderstood to mean that I think women and men are equal, while in the second one the women show an urge to want to be equal. Women and Men the gender equality movement, I’m over that. I’ve BEEN over that. I’m not about that life. In fact I’ve never been about it. That’s not my war. That’s not what this blog is about. And if you thought it was I suggest you leave now because it is about to get ugly.

I refused to celebrate Woman’s day this year because I’m a woman every day of my life. I once asked a homosexual acquaintance why gays wore their sexuality so out there. He said “it’s a title we’ve been given, a label. We have to wear it proudly so it loses its power to hurt us.”  What does that mean? I’m not a transgender little boy hidden in a woman’s body, I am a woman. I don’t need to be told I’m a woman. I don’t need to be reminded or taught how to become a woman. I’m a woman that is it. I know where my responsibilities lie. I know what I’m supposed to do. I feel like a woman. Now these myths that women and men are equal screw it. Fuck it. I’m not about that. We have roles. We’re like lock and key. We’re an oiled machine that works well or at least worked well at one point. The truth is if we’re going to be honest as women it’s going to hurt.

I mean let’s put aside the jobs we have. Let’s put aside our egos. Let’s put aside this feminism concept. What do you want? What do you need? Is it protection? Maybe it is safety? Respect is an option. That’s what I want for all women; Respect. I don’t want to sit here and tell you a lie. Half truths like you can do anything a man can do when you put your mind to it. Truth is let’s stop with the super hero stunts. Let’s pack away the capes. You can’t go and be a soldier and be pregnant. That’s why you have options, Birth control, Condoms. I mean you even have abortions as an option. It’s your body. It’s your life. It’s your dreams. You make the choices, you make the decisions. You’re not a man. Truth is unless you’re planning on having a sex change you probably will never be. It’s fine. It really is. You’re a woman. That’s fine as well. Accept it. You’re not going to be equal to a man; neither will you be inferior or superior. You’re one with him, a team. You’re a human before a woman. All you need is respect.