1thirdofawoman reconstruction

Hi there,
I'm sorry first of all. But I was not happy with one third of a woman at all.
So i decided to spend a little money in having some graphics designed for the blog. Yes I know people DIY all the time but i figure if you're going to google me this will come up. It better look good and represent me well.
So until further notice 1thirdofawoman will not be up. Hopefully we wont have to move but I'm prepared to make this work now. Professionally.

with love, TJ.

A War is Coming *warning graphic images will follow*

TOO MANY WOMEN DOWN

I read another angry blog today. This One is by a pretty black South African lesbian woman who lives in Johannesburg and writes poetry. She is angry about a number of things, white privilege, the ANC, lesbians and homosexual stereotype, and the common women battles. She is so angry; she uses vulgar language when she passionately rants on twitter. You know what, it’s scary. I’m not out here to judge her being angry. I don’t even care that she is black lesbian and an activist. I don’t know her. I have no title deed to be able to say anything about her. But it sure scares me that she isn't the only Angry woman out there. Blog posts by so many young ladies are talking about the anger and how they're affected by it, from SiyandaWrites to That Cracked Black.  It is even scarier that they have every reason to be. They're also tiring of writing about it. 

FREE SELF DEFENSE CLASSES IN INDIA

IT BEGINS HERE.

Statistics show an increase in rape. It’s being recorded and sent around as porn in South African high schools., it’s being used to teach women lessons, as weapons in war, or for the fuck of it and the sad part is whole town’s are covering it up. I’m in tears as I type this because we’re losing the battle. I don’t know why I was sitting here thinking that if I sit on my lap top and I type about these things somewhere somehow I would save the world. I’m crying real tears because despite spending the morning reading tweets about how perpetrators should alone be left with responsibility of their actions; I’m sitting here thinking I’m not doing enough. I’m sitting here thinking how unfair it is that I grew up in a home were my father is a good man and my mother is treated like a goddess while majority of my friend’s have sad childhood memories, missing fathers or battered mothers. I’m not angry anymore. I’m sad and scared.

I’m sad because every time I walk down the street and a man whistles and hollers I say hi because I’m scared he might consider me rude and decide to rape me because of it. But then again he might rape me because my “Hi” was flirtatious. Well, he might also just do it for the fucks of it. Literally.  But I’m also scared that it might be one of my friends on a night out, when I've had a few too many so I’m quitting drinking this year. But then it could be a cousin. You know what I feel like right now? My friend recently became a father to a very pretty little girl, when he told me it was a girl my heart sunk. I got sad because that is one more burden for me. That saddens me. Because I love being a woman but I’m still feeling like the moment I was born and I had a vagina. Well I was screwed.

IT IS COMING TO AN END

But women are getting angry. They’re getting angry and they are mobilizing the troops. There is a storm brewing, there is a war coming world. It is going to be messy. They won’t fight with their muscle like you men do. They won’t use brutal force. They will use your seeds. They will take your daughters and they will teach them to hate men. They will take your sons and teach them to hate themselves. We've seen the race wars, the tribal wars, civil wars; tell me how will we survive when the women rise to the goddesses they are? How will you protect yourself from your mother? Will you kill them all? Will you beat them into submission? There is a war coming and I fear the future generations that will be born in its times. How will man and woman survive without one another?

ABOUT CROP TOPS, MINI SKIRTS, LOW RISE JEANS, IMMORAL DRESS AND SWAZILAND

I was going to write an article on Swaziland's recent decision to enforce the 1889 law that bans "immoral dressing". But I figure if you've read SLUT WALKS and you know how I feel about women being told how to dress. But I feel it is my duty to share with you a certain young lady I love and adore's article on it. I was going to ask her to write something on it as soon as I came back from my holiday because she is actually from Swaziland  well, half way. But anyway, she beat me to the punch because she doesn't holiday, and here is a link to my soul mate Siyanda Mohutsiwa blog SiyandaWrites.

About The Author

Siyanda is a 19-year-old BSc undergraduate studying Mathematics/Statistics at the University of Botswana. She lives for mathematics, literature and laughing loudly at her own jokes. She has a particularly inexplicable passion for feminism, pan-Africanism and a growing interest in the socio-economic landscape of her country. She also has a border-line psychopathic love for dead African heroes. She refuses to reveal more on that issue.

Her sometimes indiscernible cries to her imaginary audience can be found on Twitter (@siyandawrites). If you happen to be in the country you can find her articles in the award-winning Sunday Standard’s The Telegraph. If you aren’t, a quick browse through the Sunday Standard website will land you in her articles.

Email siyandawrites@gmail.com for inquiries regarding freelance writing and editing.

P.S I am glad I don't live in a country that subjects me to so much. They're still too many women out there in such situations. allow me to say it but too many of our women down in the field. But at least i know a lot of women whose skill and passion is strong enough to pull the rest out. My Christmas wish is that more of them are born and none of them are afraid to fight the war. 

When I grow Up I Want to be Pope

I don’t really want to be pope when I grow up, but I imagine there is a little girl somewhere in this world kneeling in a Roman Catholic Church praying she gets to be Pope one day, so this one is for that little girl. I’m not a very religious person. By religious of course I mean I don’t belong to a particular church. I’m not atheist either because I use Rollo Reese May’s definition of an atheist,  “call it confidence in the universe, trust in God, and belief in one’s fellow men or what not, the essence of religion is the belief that something matters- the presumption that life has meaning. So the religious person is one who has found meaning in life. And an atheist is one who cannot, or has not found it.” I have found my own meaning. I don’t think my issue is with religion, or God. Although I've been told there is a special place for me in hell, that’s not my issue. I think my issue is with institutions in general. I don’t like institutions, religious or not. I simply do not want to be institutionalized. 

Albert Einstein apparently said “Imagination is more important than Knowledge.” How true would you say this statement was? How important is innovation in any field? The thing with institutions is they slowly murder your ability to be imaginative. Like, Harper Lee said, “The book to read is not the one that thinks for you, but the one that forces you to think.” You know what the problem with being institutionalized is? The problem with being institutionalized is we have a bunch of rules dictating what you can and cannot do. You know what the sad part is, you have a billion people in the world walking around thinking they’re special. In the words of Dash Incredible, “saying everyone is special in their own way is just a nice way of saying no one is special.”

 Do you remember in primary? There was a stage where you learnt that little speech. “My name is Tshepo. I am 7 years old. When I grow up I want to be a Insert Teacher’s choice.” that sentence is the first step into being institutionalized  Fire-fighter, soldier, teacher, doctor all of these careers these teachers picked for you are that first step. Of course unless your parents are “baby boomers” they've also been institutionalized  No teacher picked I want to be “a broke poet travelling through Europe appreciating art eating French croissants, and bar-tending for a little bit of money.”

I mean my baby sister came home the other day and told me she wanted to be a doctor. She is seven. When I was her age I wanted to be a princess. So I’m thinking she is either really smart and has figured out her older sister is a flop, ( I've decided I want to write for a living and be an activist I’m typing this in the hope that it will save me the conversation with my mom. Hi mom.) and her parents need something to be proud of. Or I've been screwed from day one. Anyway back to institutionalization.

We live in a world where we’re fed mixed singles. On one hand you’re told you’re unique, be yourself, you’re special, on the other you’re fed mass everything. Mass education, Mass religion, Mass clothing, even be unique is becoming a mass message. So here we are humans, who are brought up in homes with individualistic believes then taken to institutions with mass believes. Imagine if my family had been catholic, I’ve spent my whole life with my parents telling me I can do anything I want, I can be anything I want. Imagine then that I came home from Sunday school and told my mom, hey mom guess what I've decided I want to be pope. I’m imagining my mother has to tell me why I can’t be pope, which from the research I've done stems down to me being a girl. I’m imagining telling your child they can’t be something because they’re not allowed to must be traumatizing.

So I don’t like institutions. I don’t like schools. I didn't like reception. I didn't like primary, middle school or high school. Unfortunately varsity has changed nothing. I like education. I like knowledge. I have an undying thirsting desire for knowledge. I’d rather read my text books at home than sit in class. But I would also rather sit on Google and find ways to prove those text books wrong. I’m probably just anti social but truth told I don’t think I even like the institution of a country or a government rather. I've read this blog post over so many times and feel it makes no sense. But let us see how this will work out. I have no reason for hating institutional-ism other than that I am also a sad result of it. I wish I wasn't  because maybe then I would believe my dad when he said I should be Botswana’s first female president. But unfortunately the institutions tell me I won’t be, because Botswana’s Political institutions do not foster female presidents or even politicians. So I’m sorry, I’m sorry to all the Catholic little girls that will never get to be pope.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

The title of this post is the title of a newspaper I read this morning. One I’m typing this sitting next to, distraught. I haven’t had anything to say for months, which is rare because I always have something to say, so perhaps I should say I had nothing worth listening to. But I've been caught up in my own world for a bit now so I again apologize. I however find my heart in turmoil and somber moods this morning, and felt a need to share with you why. In case you have not picked up this week’s, The Midweek Sun you probably should. This week’s headline “Beauty and the beast”a story that describes how, Thabo Masilo a 21 year old Botho College student raped, robbed and murdered 17 year old Tshepang Motlhabane. I have a lot of things to say, but my hearts to heavy to say all of them.

I’m not writing this so I can call Thabo names or call him possessed by demons, or ugly, or a beast because truth is so many women get raped, robbed and murdered so often you’re more likely as a woman to get raped than graduate school in some countries. I’m writing this because of some of the things I read in the article that raised flags for me. I’m not looking for someone to blame, I’m just highlighting what went through my head as i read this article, which for lack of better information is my only source of light as to what happened in that sad home on that day.

“The stranger was 21 year old Thabo Masilo, a botho collage student. It later turned out the assailant is a serial thief and rapist on the police wanted list.”_The Midweek Sun I don’t understand. So we know where this boy goes to school, he has been on a wanted list and they still couldn't find him? We have a population of about 2 million. In the whole country, how is it not possible to find these people on “the wanted list”? How? The police have a show on BTV, have you seen the wanted list? I want to see it. So I can know. So I can put it up on this blog and you guys can call them when you see these guys walk down a street. Because you see them, you walk past them every day. That is an extremely scary thought. That I probably walked past this guy a billion times in game city, maybe he even hit on me since Botho College boys are always hitting on me in Game City.

Then the MP Ntuane’s radical statements on how the security guards should have allowed the people to assault the criminal. I don’t know man, you’re going to solve the crime in your constituency by encouraging a different crime? Like really that’s your plan? Instead of commending the security guards for responding immediately and not allowing the perpetrator to escape while they waited for the police, you’re going to ridicule them. Call out the police for not being first on the scene.

“He told us he came under the pretense of inquiring about a servant’s quarters to rent. Then he asked for water to drink at which point he followed the girl inside the house, locked it, and proceeded to rape, rob and stab her repeatedly”_ mother (The Midweek Sun)

I live in a village on the outskirts of Gaborone. Villages are quite, wholesome, one big family, but my neighbors will all tell you I do not open my gate for anyone. I stand inside, you stand outside we communicate through a wall. It’s a simple safety and security thing. Something we take for granted. I've therefore put together a list of simple things to do to ensure your safety as a woman. Maybe not ensure but improve your safety..

GOING OUT

• ·         Turn down drinks bought and poured when you’re not present, for the simple reason that they’re more likely to be spiked. This applies to both alcoholic and none. Roofies knows no boundaries.
• ·         Random rides home? Cabs are not the safest. But they’re safer than a random person you met in the club after a couple of drinks. Opt for cabs with home offices or centers like smiley cabs, hello cabs etc. As compared to the individual cabby.
• ·         The buddy system. Try to share cabs with your friends rather than each taking their own cab or ride home. That way you can make sure you’re safe.
• ·         Also watch your friends and who they’re with, the assumption is they’re doing the same for you. Culprits are intimidated by a lurking friend that will not be separated from her friend. They’re less likely to act if a pack of females sticks together.
• ·         If you’re drinking. Drink responsibly. Blacking out in a car, floor, bathroom is not sexy neither is it safe.
• ·         Opt to take cycles being the “designated driver” even if no one is actually driving. It makes sense to have at least one of you sober enough to be the brain of the group.

AT HOME

• ·         Follow your instincts. You are not obliged to open a door for any one you do not know. Neither are you obliged to even answer a door. Even if it’s the police. ( I ignore them at my gate all the time)
• ·         If you are home alone, do not disclose this information. Try to give the impression that someone is in the house with you. Call out a random name or something if you feel uncomfortable with someone inquiring.
• ·         Double check locked doors as well as locked gates and closed windows.
• ·         Refrain from watching TV or listening to music at high volumes as this impairs your capability to hear what is going on outside. That does not mean go outside if you hear something.

WHEN DRIVING

• ·         Keep your handbag, laptop bag other valuables in the boot of the car or in a place they cannot be seen.
• ·         Have your windows installed with a shatter proof film, it can both protect you from the sun as well as impair someone’s view of what’s in the car. It can prevent injury if your window is smashed in a smash and grab.
• ·         Do not pick up hitch hikers, stop for break downs, etc
• ·         Make sure your car has good maintenance to avoid having a break down in a dangerous place.
• ·         Learn how to change tyres. A flat tyre can be changed within 45 minutes, less of a security risk than waiting for 2 hours for your knight in shining armor to come save you.
• ·         Avoid back roads and unlit roads after dark.

Other tips

• ·         Avoid elevators. No building in Botswana is that high you cannot take the stairs. You do not want to be stuck in an elevator with a person that scares you.
• ·         Heels make for very good weapons; if you find yourself in a bad situation use them.

If there are anymore tips you’d like to add. Do post them in the comments box. J

My condolences to the family of that young girl and may her soul rest in peace.

Super Hero Stunts

Let’s talk feminism. I imagine you’ve been reading this blog for a while and have come to the conclusion that it’s written by a female for females. You’ve also probably also come to the conclusion that I’m “politicking my outrageous, wild, provocative shit” as one of my twitter followers @PRLBeekstar put it. You’ve seen the Feminism tag. If you know me personally, you’ve probably even heard me say “In my spare time (which is disappearing with every passing day) I run my feminist BlogSpot.” If you know me personally you probably know that I fight very few wars. One of which happens to be the war for women’s rights. This is how I view myself, Human before Woman, Woman before African, African before Writer, and Writer before poet. These are also the order of my wars. I fight for humanity, then women, followed by Africans, Writing then poetry. But you should also know that even though I’m very judgemental I accept people for whom and what they are. Which is what I feel a lot of women need to start doing.

This semester I’m taking a lot of classes that seem to continue to bring up the feminism issue. Which is weird right? I mean considering my majors. So I’m in class opening my mouth (because it just has a brain of its own) and having to encounter such strong opposition. On Monday(13 August) in my contemporary Africa class we were discussing how colonialism had a strong influence in cementing the patriarchal systems of Africa by making them law. For example the known custom that the first born male inherited everything was now a law. It further fuelled patriarchy in that it allowed men to be the bread winners in the family by sending them off to earn income in fields or mines, leaving the women as temporary head of households. So I being me of course decided to ask my lecturer if he thought that colonialism could be blamed for the degrading and disregard of women in today’s African society. I went on to further elaborate that by this I meant that did he think that before colonialism; before Africans had laid their eyes on the “white man” did he have any prior knowledge to them having lived as equals (women and men)? I wasn’t asking to be controversial. I was asking simply because I assumed he might share a writing or text he had read about Pre-colonial African History. I’ve read a few internet sites on how women were viewed as goddesses back in the day. But I was hoping for an academic source.  Either way my intentions aside, the class headed into a discussion and I was again misunderstood.

A student argued that our chief ideology still carried patriarchy as they were no women. I argued that when I said equality I didn’t mean we’re the same. I meant a mutual understanding and respect for each other. I went further on to say that people need to understand that when tribes went to war, chiefs led the troops. It only made sense to send a man. Another argued that the initiation that women’s clitorises were cut off to increase a man’s pleasure during sex. I argued that men had circumcisions performed at their versions of these ceremonies. Furthermore they were probably unaware of the pleasure nerves located in a clitoris. My favourite answer however was by a gentleman in my class from Uganda. His theory consisted of a thing I call the male ego (I intend to write a paper or thesis on this one day). According to him, “men probably lived with a mutual respect and harmony with their women. Maybe even viewed them as sacred and goddesses. However when slavery came, two things happened, men were stripped of their title as protector and they were beaten into submission. They reacted as any man who prides himself would; they looked for the next thing to assert power over, something weaker than them, Women. Maybe this was the answer I was looking for. Maybe it was an excuse I wanted to give African men to at least have a little faith in them. But I was content with this answer.

Then Today (15 August 2012) I again went of blasting. We were discussing recruitment methods in Personnel Management 306, when the topic of blood tests came up. Our lecturer mentioned that in certain sections of the working economy a pregnancy test is required. He went on to further mention that in the BDF for example, even two years after admission for training or a job getting pregnant is an offence. But doesn’t this question the labour laws that protect women from gender discrimination in the work force? Doesn’t it go against all my principles? As the voice of women in my class went on to get dramatic and touched over this. Sighing out loud and protesting to my lecture as if he’d made the policy, I fell into Human. Remember I’m human before female? My first objective is to preserve human life. My lecture required I give my opinion on this and my answer was,      

       “I’m a feminist. My definition of feminism of course is simply my belief that being a woman should not pose as an advantage or disadvantage anywhere in my life. But the fact of the matter is as a woman you have a responsibility to your child before yourself. If you’re going to work in a radioactive environment save us the law suits and use birth control. If you’re going to join the army don’t be dumb enough to think you’re going to war and not risk losing your child. Quite frankly women need to accept they’re women and stop being so dramatic.”

I didn’t tell you these two stories just so you know what I’m doing in my classes. I told them to you because they have one common denominator here even though they’re so completely different discussions. In the first story, my question is misunderstood to mean that I think women and men are equal, while in the second one the women show an urge to want to be equal. Women and Men the gender equality movement, I’m over that. I’ve BEEN over that. I’m not about that life. In fact I’ve never been about it. That’s not my war. That’s not what this blog is about. And if you thought it was I suggest you leave now because it is about to get ugly.

I refused to celebrate Woman’s day this year because I’m a woman every day of my life. I once asked a homosexual acquaintance why gays wore their sexuality so out there. He said “it’s a title we’ve been given, a label. We have to wear it proudly so it loses its power to hurt us.”  What does that mean? I’m not a transgender little boy hidden in a woman’s body, I am a woman. I don’t need to be told I’m a woman. I don’t need to be reminded or taught how to become a woman. I’m a woman that is it. I know where my responsibilities lie. I know what I’m supposed to do. I feel like a woman. Now these myths that women and men are equal screw it. Fuck it. I’m not about that. We have roles. We’re like lock and key. We’re an oiled machine that works well or at least worked well at one point. The truth is if we’re going to be honest as women it’s going to hurt.

I mean let’s put aside the jobs we have. Let’s put aside our egos. Let’s put aside this feminism concept. What do you want? What do you need? Is it protection? Maybe it is safety? Respect is an option. That’s what I want for all women; Respect. I don’t want to sit here and tell you a lie. Half truths like you can do anything a man can do when you put your mind to it. Truth is let’s stop with the super hero stunts. Let’s pack away the capes. You can’t go and be a soldier and be pregnant. That’s why you have options, Birth control, Condoms. I mean you even have abortions as an option. It’s your body. It’s your life. It’s your dreams. You make the choices, you make the decisions. You’re not a man. Truth is unless you’re planning on having a sex change you probably will never be. It’s fine. It really is. You’re a woman. That’s fine as well. Accept it. You’re not going to be equal to a man; neither will you be inferior or superior. You’re one with him, a team. You’re a human before a woman. All you need is respect.

Guest Writer: Lydia Kasese; Decisions

It seems this Guest Writer thing might become a monthly show. August's guest writer is a Miss Lydia Kasese. You should know I like her. Very much. so here you go... (UnEdited)

GUEST WRITER; LYDIA KASESE'S DECISION

Today, I decided I will not get into a relationship until I get my first degree. My friends' reaction to this over lunch was, “can I take note of this so I can remind you next week when you decide to start dating?”, we laughed about it and spoke about all the other things we had said we would not do but ended up doing the following week.

Just to put it out there I am not doing this because I want to focus on my academics and boys will be a major distraction because I am a firm believer in fun. I came to this conclusion because it dawned on me that I am worth so much more than what guys at this university are willing to offer. I'm worth more than sweaty nights gyrating on guys dicks in a club, sneaking into their residents late at night and sneaking out at 5am so their friends wont know that i'm the “hoe” he hooked up with. I am worth so much more than being a side-chick to a “boy” I know wont ever learn to love me right but because I am lonely I will stick with him. And I call them “boys” because men are so scarce nowadays, but its not just the boys, decent girls are even more scarce.

If I come off sounding bitter then you caught me. I'm not bitter from my own experiences, but because I have seen girls degrade themselves to a door mat and let boys wipe their dirty feet all over their hearts. I have seen girls trade their self dignity for the sake of not being lonely. I have seen girls trade their name for the title “bitch” just so they could be popular amongst the guys. Heck my friends have bent over backwards , leaned over side ways and cried and begged for a boy that threw away what they thought was “love”.


In all honesty, I do not know much about love. I thought I was in love once but turns out I wasn't. My best friend told me “you will know you are in love when you are willing to die for someone”. I have never loved anyone to be willing to give my life for them, my family yes, but not anyone else. But that is not the point. The point is, I do not know much about love but I have an idea of what it should be like. I think love should be like stripping off your clothes and standing in front of an audience you do not know knowing they will see your imperfections but knowing that they will love your imperfect bits anyway. Love should feel like those moments after the honey-moon phase when you find out that I snore like a pig but you still love me for that. Love should be you not being able to sleep because you went a whole day without talking to me.

This kind of love is hard to find in a place where everyone comes to shag and have the “time of their lives”. You cant find it in a place where boys are driven by peer pressure into seeing how many girls they can date at one time without being caught. You cant get this in a place where talk of commitment is as rare as virgins. True, there may be exceptions out there. There maybe boys out there that are willing to settle down and want something more than a quick shag, but lets be realistic how many of these guys are there? Five? Fifteen? And how many of these already have girls? Three quarters of them? All of them?  I don't know, I really don't know.

Let us be realistic ladies. We all know that boys dream of coming to varsity not for a degree but for all the “babes” that the Hollywood has painted exist. Boys are coming to varsity to have the time of their lives, get high and get laid. Getting committed to you is probably the last thing on his mind. But then again I do not know much about boys and relationships either so I will leave it at that. But this is my decision and my choice, who knows, I may change my mind about this decision next week, 2 months from now or even right before I get my degree. I really dont know, i'm human and my head has the tendency to deceive me sometimes. Who knows I just may come across a guy who actually wants to settle and “make love” once in a while and not just shag. I may even find a guy who loves spending time with me not because he knows there's sex coming his way but because being with me makes him happy. Until then, this is me riding solo, piloting my own plane and enjoying the view from above.

BIO;

My name is Lydia Kasese. I'm a student at Rhodes University. I dabble in poetry, I love the arts and music. I love reading, writing. I'm open minded about a lot of things and still unsure about a lot more. I'm not sure of who I am yet but i'm absorbing what society and the media has to offer me and picking out what I find fit in creating myself as a woman. Feel free to follow me on twitter @Ms_Lilly_Py or on my email address nykasese@yahoo.com